On the first day of an exciting, fresh year, we all contemplate the changes we would like to see be made to ourselves and the world in 2015. Change is not always necessary though, and Zoe A reflects this through poetry about coming to terms with what life throws at you. Sometimes acceptance is the best state of mind. 

Versailles

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Image by Justine

 The gardens outside the chateau only make me feel bijou.

I stand in a freezing oasis of greenery

in a country that does not understand my language,

but tries so very hard.

This time of year, the statuaries are cloaked in tarp–

they say it’s for the weather but I know it’s because

those inanimate bastards don’t want to see my face.

Inside, I feel even smaller still–

everything so baroque, I am nervous around it.

I hide away behind flocks of tourists who never notice me

and will never know who I am.

The moment I step foot into the Hall of Mirrors everything changes.

Around me, I only see images of myself, and I cannot help but laugh

because this room was designed to solely revolve around the person who is in it.

It is suited for royalty, but is suited for me too

the reflecting surfaces were conceived to make the most simple of us

feel as beautiful as a queen.

And I do.

Sin of Eden

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Image by Cathi

 I had to come to terms with your flaws.

It took many, many moons but I eventually found my way

at the end of a path of rugged sins and tragic misdemeanors.

I knelt with you while you coughed out blood

and your liver failed you much like you failed me.

In your translucent, frail state, I felt myself love you again

I felt too much watching you hang on for your life.

I kissed you because you were suffering,

as you’ve told me before that’s the only way you get my attention.

You tasted like regret, and my lips melted into you

in welcome reception.

Your transgressions were nothing then, they were the past

but you were my present and future.

The Ball Handler

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Image by Justine

You wanted me to come with you to the basketball game

at a college I don’t give a shit about in the heart of our neighborhood.

It’s a place that brings about a bad taste in my mouth.

Some of the people I detest are fans of that school.

For you, I hopelessly yearned to come to the game.

I know enough about the sport to know that the Point Guard controls the play,

handles the ball, and is possibly the most crucialone there.

You were my PG.

I was scared, frightened of what I did not know

quaking underneath harsh lights and breaking under pressure of other people.

The noise seemed like too much so I ran away

and you brought along someone new.

It tasted metallic and like blood in my mouth.

I will endure the fact that I am replaceable for the rest of my life.

I will bite my lip.

I will stomp away.

I will be with someone who needs me like I needed you.

I will endure the fact that I am replaceable for the rest of my life

with someone who finds me irreplaceable.

Grin and Bear It

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Image by the Pulp Girls

Not everyone is perfect

I write this from first hand perspective

I’m sitting in my jogging bra at a creek and people are giving me creepy stares

probably because I shouldn’t have my shirt off.

But at the same time, fuck them

I can take my shirt off because it’s hot, or even when I’m not hot

and sing Sonic Youth at the top of my goddamn lungs.

Every time I hear that obnoxious Meghan Trainor song

I turn it off in haste because she’s uplifting one group of people

but shaming the rest of the lot.

She tried and failed at a self-acceptance anthem.

You can succeed at what she so epically failed at.

Be your own self-acceptance anthem, catered towards you, for your needs.

Because you are perfect.

You should not wear your dress size as a label,

wear your happiness instead.

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January 1, 2015